Oct. 19th

I burned the notebook before going to bed last night. Hopefully, I wasn’t infected by ‘Hanna’, or whatever the hell it wants to call itself. I haven’t encountered too many of Them like Hanna – a Runner I met last May called them ‘Shards’, actually- but from what I understand, they can latch onto items as well as people. Makes them deteriorate over time, apparently. The journal seems to be in good condition, though, so it’s possible that the Shard didn’t pass to it when Janie’s group was slaughtered. And from the sound of it, it wanted to go back east, so I could be safe.

Seems like Dallas is out. I probably would’ve avoided it, anyway- when everything started to go to hell, Dallas was one of the first cities to fall. I remember watching some news footage of there- rioting, looting, citywide fires… it looked like a warzone. From the sound of it, not much has changed, except that people are squabbling over a pile of ruins.

I definitely don’t want to head too far west, though. A Runner I met a while back mentioned that most of civilization west of the Mississippi was gone, and nature was reclaiming what it’d lost decades ago. “Anarchists” was how he put it when I asked what the people were like- at least, the ones in the big cities. I think it’ll be a lot like the east- avoid the big cities, and don’t attract attention. And always be on your guard.

Well, we’ll see how well that’ll work for me.

Also, last night marks the first time I can’t remember dreaming. Maybe things are looking up for once.

Janie's Journal, Part II

Oct. 9^th?

Dear Hanna,

Dad took my journal away yesterday. He said I was spending too much time writing, that it was what was making me worse. I do feel a little worse, too! I feel really weak, especially after sleeping. He said that I couldn’t talk to you anymore, that it might be what was wrong with me. I think that’s ridiculous, but I told him I wouldn’t. You’re my only friend out here, though! Mr. and Mrs. Kroft don’t talk to me, and Dad’s always tired. What should I do?

Dear Janie,

You should follow your father’s wishes if you believe he’s right. He is your parent, after all, and it’s best to respect his wishes. And it’s not like I’m going away, Janie - You know I’ll always be with you.

Oct. 10^th?

Get the hell out of my daughter. Whatever the hell you are, just stay away from her.

Oct. 11^th?

Please don’t hurt her. God. I’ll do anything.

Oct. 12^th?

Dear Hanna,

Dad says you talked to him last night, and that you convinced him that I could continue talking to you. I don’t know how you did it, but thank you! I don’t know what I’d do without you!

And we’re almost at the Mississippi now! Yay. :D Mr. Kroft says he’s going to get a boat.

Dear Janie,

You’re welcome, my child. Like I said, I’ll always be with you. To the very end.

Oct. 13^th?

I’m not allowing my daughter to become your goddamn slave. Anything’s better for her than that. Tonight, it ends. Anything to make sure she doesn’t end up like so many others. I won’t let her belong to you.

Janie's Journal, Part I

Oct. 6^th?

Dear Hanna,

Dad says we have just a few more days to go until we get to the river. He says that they’ll be able to help me over there, that they’ll be able to take it out. I know he doesn’t want to scare me, but I’m not dumb. I can see that he’s scared, too. After we lost Mom, he’s been that way. Mr. and Mrs. Kroft are only making him more tense, too- they’re saying that if I don’t get help soon, that they’ll put me down.

Dear Janie,    

Your father is right, my child. He is overprotective for a reason – you’re all he has left. He blames himself for what happened to your Mother – and in a way, he is. Going to Dallas was his first mistake; he should’ve realized it wasn’t safe there.

But do not be afraid, my child. I will protect you, even when he can’t.

Oct. 7^th?

Dear Hanna,

Thank you! I needed that… but I think… I feel like it was my fault Mom is gone. I feel like I should have been quieter! If I had been, maybe then those men wouldn’t have found us. And they wouldn’t have… taken Mom.

Dear Janie,

Your mother fared a far better death than what she could have endured at the hands of, say, the Smiler. Next time, of course, you will have to keep a cool head- especially at the Mississippi. If we are to have safe passage, you’ll need to be quiet.

Oct. 18th

Jesus. I don’t know how I made it through the notebook.

I was wrong when I called those Runners idiots. They weren’t stupid- they were desperate. After reading what happened to them, it makes me wonder if I’d have done something similar. I’ll copy a few of the last entries into this journal, then I’m burning the notebook.

Oct. 18th

Decided I’d make an inventory check after recovering some supplies from the other Runners’ boat. Most of it was useless, but there was some stuff that I’d been running low on or otherwise needed.

Recovered from boat:

-          A worn-down gas mask (slight crack in the right lens)

-          Two bottles of painkillers, one half-full

-          Three bandages

-          An inhaler

-          A composition notebook (floral design)

-          One flashlight (batteries low)

-          Small pocket radio (needs batteries)

-          A pair of tattered jeans

-          A dark-brown winter coat

-          A hiking backpack (good condition)

-          Three cans of food

-          A CD player (good condition, ¾ battery remaining)

In my backpack:

-          Hunting knife (decent condition)

-          Four cans of food

-          Small box of energy bars

-          First-Aid Kit

-          Revolver (full)

-          Small box of ammo (seven bullets)

-          Sleeping bag

-          Bundle of rope

-          Roadmap of the U.S.

-          Leatherbound journal

I’d been needing a new backpack for some time, so the new one is a Godsend. I was also excited about seeing a CD player- hadn’t listened to music in ages. Sat down and listened to the disc inside that’s labeled “random stuff”. First thing that came up was Aerosmith’s “Dream On”. I’ll need to conserve the battery just in case I’ll need them later, but it was nice to hear something musically inclined.

Before I go to bed tonight, I’m going to read some more of that composition notebook. From the looks of it, it was a girl’s diary. Who knows, maybe it’ll give me an idea of what to expect out West.

Oct. 17th

The nightmare’s had me thinking all day that maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should’ve kept up the search for Him. It’s too late now, I suppose; getting across the Mississippi is a bit harder from this side. There’s a chance, however slim, that He may have jumped on this side. If He did, the odds of me catching up to Him are even slimmer.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been three years since I started out after Him. Even harder to believe that when I did, the world was still somewhat normal. I suppose the irony is that if the man in gray hadn’t shown up in my life, hadn’t taken Moira away from me… I’d have been dead as soon as They took over.

That seems even farther away, honestly. It feels like They’ve always been in power. In a way, I guess They have always been in control, but They were like Him – always in the background, never making obvious appearances. Something must have happened that made Them start grabbing at positions of power. Either that, or… this was all inevitable. 

Oct. 17th

Long night once again… slept past noon, I think.

The nightmares are getting worse. I was back in that burning barn, trapped as usual. But… this time, the flames didn’t burn me. I struggled more than ever, figuring that this was some other form of torture.

In a way, I was right.

Forever passed. I finally realized that getting the beam off was futile. At that point, I looked through the smoke and saw someone walking towards me.

It was Him.

He wore the same ash-colored suit, had the same pocket watch in His hands. Just like before, I couldn’t see His face – not clearly. But I could tell that He was looking at me after a moment.

“Time of death – one minute to midnight,” is all He said.

Then, the bastard that killed my daughter pointed His gun at me.

Pulled the trigger.

And before I woke up, I felt the bullet go through the back of my skull.

Oct. 16th

What a day.

I’m a little banged up, but other than that I’m OK.

So, about staying a week in one place… turns out I was right. A large Flock went through the area I’d been camping in just hours after I’d moved. I think they found the remnants of my last campsite, so they probably knew that a Runner was in the area. Thankfully, I was already on my way over.

Before that group of Runners tried getting across, I had no idea on how I’d get over. And, though I hate to admit it, their deaths helped me in a way. The Guardsmen had let their boat just wade near the shoreline, and didn’t even bother checking it. Lucky for me, I guess. I had to swim for a minute or so, but I eventually got into the boat. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, that’s for sure. The smell was the worst part; I almost threw up several times, but managed to keep it down.

Getting the boat to the other side of the Mississippi isn’t hard; it’s getting there without suffering any injuries. After watching what had happened to that other group, I knew that I’d be spotted within seconds. So… I Trojan Horse’d it, in a way. Steered the boat as much as possible towards the other bank, gave it a little boost in that direction, and then…  laid down amongst the other Runners. Played possum.

What followed was the most harrowing hour of my life.

There were times when I could see the guards in their stations, staring down at me – and I thought for sure they’d see me, gun me down where I was. But they didn’t. Most just went about their rounds, others kept lookout.

Eventually, I landed on the opposite shore. I’ll admit, I was much too eager when I got out of that boat. Led to me almost getting caught, actually; had to dive into a ditch to avoid a spotlight. That led to the sprained wrist and some bruises down my leg, actually. I’ll probably need to find a change of clothing, too; some of it’s ripped, and… well, it smells like death.

Other than that, though… I can’t complain. I made it.

Now, I need to figure out where I’m going. 

Oct. 15th

Been here for about a week now, and still no progress. I need to move within a day or two; staying in one place too long is always bad news. A few days is OK, but a week is pushing your luck. One of Them is bound to find you.

I think I know enough about the Guards’ patterns to know when I need to move across. There’s a shift change around dinner, and it usually takes around five or six minutes to complete. That might give me enough time to get across.

Fortunately, I’ll have the best cover possible.

Unfortunately, it’ll be a little messy.

Oct. 13th

Bad news. A group of Runners had the same idea as me, looks like – except they weren’t as smart.

There were four or five of them – it was hard to tell from where I was – but they’d apparently stolen a boat and tried to cross from the other side of the Mississippi. The idiots didn’t even try to stay out of sight- though, after what happened next, I guess stealth wasn’t really on their mind.

Before they’d made it halfway across, they had a spotlight trained on them. A boat was speeding across from the other side, ready to cut them off. It looked like they were caught.

And that’s when the Flock that’d been chasing them caught up.

I didn’t notice them at first- not until the lightshow began. Lightning danced off the water as the Flock dove at the Runners. Two were lucky enough to die instantly; the others, well… their screams went on for several minutes before abruptly cutting off.

The National Guardsmen fired at the Flock after it was all over, prompting Them to leave. The Runners’ boat was left to idle out in the water.

… I’ll need to be more careful from here on out.

Oct. 11th

Last night was horrid. I didn’t get much sleep due to the nightmares. Most were of me running from something – some vague form each time. There were others, though… vivid ones that stuck with me.

The last thing I dreamed… I was back in the barn up in Kentucky. This time, though, I was trapped underneath a beam while a fire roared around me. Try as I might, I couldn’t lift the beam off of myself… finally, I just kind of accepted it. I felt my body being burned up, and could hear myself screaming – but in my head, I was completely calm.

I woke when the fire had finished consuming me.

Oct. 10th

Nothing incredibly interesting to report on the bridge situation. I’m starting to notice a pattern in their shifts, though, which could work to my advantage. The good thing about having some sentient computer program ordering around the military is that it doesn’t take into account human weakness; some of the National Guardsmen have been bullied into serving here, I bet. And it seems like most are absolutely tired of the area. The program pushes them so hard that it forgets to take into account that sometimes, they won’t do their job properly.

First thing you have to learn as a Runner: If They have a weakness, exploit it for as much as you can get.

Oct. 8th

So, the Texas trip has been delayed on account of the Mississippi being blocked.

I’d been trying to avoid hotspots with lots of people, so the bridge in Memphis was out. I planned on using 49 since that headed west a bit, but there’s National Guardsmen blocking the way across. It’s a pretty narrow bridge, so sneaking across is out. I may end up having to steal a boat, but I’d rather keep a low profile in the area. If word gets out that a boat’s been stolen, they’ll have men searching for me in no time.

I could wait a few days, see if the Guardsmen move on.

Doubt they will.

Oct. 7th

Saw a Flock today. It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen one; last one was up in Pennsylvania. To be honest, I thought they’d died out after last winter; looks like I was wrong. They’re as vicious as ever, too; I got lucky and managed to keep out of their line of sight.

The black lab chained outside someone’s house… wasn’t as lucky.

By the time the Flock was done, they’d stripped the lab down to its bones. I lost my lunch a few moments later.

People wonder why I tell them to stay inside their homes, at least when one of Them is around. If They really want you, a house sure as hell won’t keep them away. But at least you won’t unintentionally stand in Their way. Same goes for pets – keep them inside, if you can. Learned that one the hard way.

Starting to head west, towards Texas. I figure at the rate I’m travelling, I could be there in a few weeks. Only thing is, I’ll have to find a way over the Mississippi tomorrow. Not looking forward to that one bit.

Oct. 4th

I’ve been mulling it over, and I’ve decided it’s best to stop looking for Him until after winter.

So, that’s why I’m heading south. My mind immediately went to Florida, but I quickly shut that thought down. Florida – and most of the south, actually – belongs to one of Them.

If I can find a place close by that isn’t too humid, that’d do.

Still – can’t stay in one place too long. If worse comes to worse, I’ll head out west. 

Oct. 2nd

The nightmares are back.

I’d been dreading the day when my bottle of sleeping pills ran out- and yesterday, it finally happened. I was tempted to try my luck at a drugstore, but it’s not safe to use any kind of medicine in stores nowadays. Most have probably been tampered with.

It’s too dangerous to sleep for very long, though- especially if you have nightmares. It’s like an insect navigating a dark, cobwebbed forest. It’s going to get caught eventually, and it’ll be a slow, excruciating death. Or, that’s what I assume; I haven’t met someone who’s been caught in their sleep and been able to talk about what happens next. All I know is that if you’re caught by whatever the hell it is, you’re put into a coma and whittle away into nothing- like it’s drinking you dry with a bendy straw.