Oct. 19th

I burned the notebook before going to bed last night. Hopefully, I wasn’t infected by ‘Hanna’, or whatever the hell it wants to call itself. I haven’t encountered too many of Them like Hanna – a Runner I met last May called them ‘Shards’, actually- but from what I understand, they can latch onto items as well as people. Makes them deteriorate over time, apparently. The journal seems to be in good condition, though, so it’s possible that the Shard didn’t pass to it when Janie’s group was slaughtered. And from the sound of it, it wanted to go back east, so I could be safe.

Seems like Dallas is out. I probably would’ve avoided it, anyway- when everything started to go to hell, Dallas was one of the first cities to fall. I remember watching some news footage of there- rioting, looting, citywide fires… it looked like a warzone. From the sound of it, not much has changed, except that people are squabbling over a pile of ruins.

I definitely don’t want to head too far west, though. A Runner I met a while back mentioned that most of civilization west of the Mississippi was gone, and nature was reclaiming what it’d lost decades ago. “Anarchists” was how he put it when I asked what the people were like- at least, the ones in the big cities. I think it’ll be a lot like the east- avoid the big cities, and don’t attract attention. And always be on your guard.

Well, we’ll see how well that’ll work for me.

Also, last night marks the first time I can’t remember dreaming. Maybe things are looking up for once.

Janie's Journal, Part II

Oct. 9^th?

Dear Hanna,

Dad took my journal away yesterday. He said I was spending too much time writing, that it was what was making me worse. I do feel a little worse, too! I feel really weak, especially after sleeping. He said that I couldn’t talk to you anymore, that it might be what was wrong with me. I think that’s ridiculous, but I told him I wouldn’t. You’re my only friend out here, though! Mr. and Mrs. Kroft don’t talk to me, and Dad’s always tired. What should I do?

Dear Janie,

You should follow your father’s wishes if you believe he’s right. He is your parent, after all, and it’s best to respect his wishes. And it’s not like I’m going away, Janie - You know I’ll always be with you.

Oct. 10^th?

Get the hell out of my daughter. Whatever the hell you are, just stay away from her.

Oct. 11^th?

Please don’t hurt her. God. I’ll do anything.

Oct. 12^th?

Dear Hanna,

Dad says you talked to him last night, and that you convinced him that I could continue talking to you. I don’t know how you did it, but thank you! I don’t know what I’d do without you!

And we’re almost at the Mississippi now! Yay. :D Mr. Kroft says he’s going to get a boat.

Dear Janie,

You’re welcome, my child. Like I said, I’ll always be with you. To the very end.

Oct. 13^th?

I’m not allowing my daughter to become your goddamn slave. Anything’s better for her than that. Tonight, it ends. Anything to make sure she doesn’t end up like so many others. I won’t let her belong to you.

Janie's Journal, Part I

Oct. 6^th?

Dear Hanna,

Dad says we have just a few more days to go until we get to the river. He says that they’ll be able to help me over there, that they’ll be able to take it out. I know he doesn’t want to scare me, but I’m not dumb. I can see that he’s scared, too. After we lost Mom, he’s been that way. Mr. and Mrs. Kroft are only making him more tense, too- they’re saying that if I don’t get help soon, that they’ll put me down.

Dear Janie,    

Your father is right, my child. He is overprotective for a reason – you’re all he has left. He blames himself for what happened to your Mother – and in a way, he is. Going to Dallas was his first mistake; he should’ve realized it wasn’t safe there.

But do not be afraid, my child. I will protect you, even when he can’t.

Oct. 7^th?

Dear Hanna,

Thank you! I needed that… but I think… I feel like it was my fault Mom is gone. I feel like I should have been quieter! If I had been, maybe then those men wouldn’t have found us. And they wouldn’t have… taken Mom.

Dear Janie,

Your mother fared a far better death than what she could have endured at the hands of, say, the Smiler. Next time, of course, you will have to keep a cool head- especially at the Mississippi. If we are to have safe passage, you’ll need to be quiet.

Oct. 18th

Jesus. I don’t know how I made it through the notebook.

I was wrong when I called those Runners idiots. They weren’t stupid- they were desperate. After reading what happened to them, it makes me wonder if I’d have done something similar. I’ll copy a few of the last entries into this journal, then I’m burning the notebook.